In Part 1 , I wrote from my own and the culture’s historical perspective. Now in Part 2 of How We Got Back to Proverbs 31 Homesteading, we remember the events leading up to the moment of clarity when it became real.
Growing in Christ and Secretly Fighting Biblical Womanhood
Through the 1980s and 90’s,, the Bible became more and more precious to me. But in my behavior, I had an off again on again relationship with the Proverbs 31 woman. I gave lip service to her while being secretly baffled along with my Christian sisters over the impossible standard she seemed to set. Here she is in Proverbs 31:10-15:
10Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
Here we see her inner beauty. Her inner and outer strength in loving. She is virtuous, trusted by her husband to do him good, not evil. She is willing, hard working and generous. It is on the foundation of these sterling character traits that we go on to learn of her skills.
Those who concentrate only on her skills miss what it is about her inner being that transcends culture. Her character is beautiful because it is godly. It is a mistake to miss this!
Saying all the right words
But for a very long time, I did miss this. I was saying all the right things, yet my heart was so often far from the heart of them. I often manipulated things so I could get my way. I focused on where I was (staying at home to raise children and feeling virtuous because of it) rather than what I was.
As a result, there was some bitter fruit I had to live with. Bitter fruit my children had to live with too. I struggled with contentment. I thought way too much of my self and about myself. I coped, not by hating my sin, but by ticking boxes and trying to “be somebody”. All wrapped up in self-righteousness.
During this time we moved across the country to Phoenix.
I wasted a lot of time hating the desert and longing for the community I had in Tennessee. It was very hard for Jack especially.
Naomi Wright’s Bible Study
Some time in those first few years in the Southwest, I was invited to a Bible Study taught by a sweet older red haired woman named Naomi Wright. Over 400 women met to hear her speak every Thursday at a Bible Church in Phoenix.
Naomi had taught Biblical Womanhood and Titus 2:2-5 for over 30 years when I first met her. Her teaching focused primarily on respecting and loving our husbands. Each year there were a number marriages in the group on the verge of divorce, and those women met privately with her in a small group called “Rebuilders”.
Her messages based on Titus 2 and the testimonies of women focused on practical ways to love and show respect to their husbands were life changing. Some were sweet and funny (one woman wrote messages of love and encouragement on an unrolled roll of paper towels in her husband’s workshop, rolled them back up so he could see them each day). Another woman followed her husband who wanted her to accompany him on a lengthy sailing voyage. She had been reluctant to go, but chose to submit to his dream, The day she was leaving, we had a celebration with prayers and crying and cheering.
Naomi told us that if you are married to a difficult husband, “if it’s 98% him and 2% you, you are here to work on your 2%.”
Her message made a profound effect on me. I began to see and hate my sin more. My trust in the Lord to lead me through Jack’s leadership grew. Naomi is with the Lord now, but someday in glory I will hug her and thank her again.
The patience of the Lord
We moved to Texas in 1997 to live near my parents, who were growing old and had none of their children living near them.
I wish I could say I carried Naomi’s teaching with me to Texas and was totally transformed, but I believe I will always struggle with my desire to control and have my way and my too high opinion of myself! I realize now I will not arrive in my sanctification until I reach the pearly gates and the arms of Jesus!
Feminism is a sin I will probably struggle with until I die. It is pride and selfishness and self-exaltation at its root. Think of Eve in the garden, how Satan approached her in Genesis 3.
1Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”
2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; 3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ”
4 Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
Satan still tempts us to sin by offering us fame, fortune, and god-like status apart from God’s ordained leadership.
The mortification of Eve’s sin
I hate it. I want it mortified. As John Owen wrote, “be killing sin or it will be killing you”.
How does one mortify sin? Jesus tells us in Matthew 16:24=26.
24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?
Ah, if only Eve had this in her mind when Satan came along. Read these words of Jesus and ask yourself where feminism fits here? What will it profit woman if she manages to gain the whole world, yet loses her soul?
Women are called to deny themselves in different ways than men are, but we in Christ we are all called to do it.
Simply put, it’s death to self, and afterwards walking with God in sweet newness of life. Death to self can be excruciating, but there is a harvest of great joy at the end of it.
One of the ways God continues to graciously help me is by bringing me the joys of Biblical womanhood. Once I realized the pleasure in being who God designed me to be, it was very motivating. There is an abundant, beautiful life for us women to live in Christ.
This is what Proverbs 31 Homesteading must be about for the Christian women at work in it.
God brought younger Titus 2 women into my life
During the time in Texas, the Lord began to bring me younger women to come alongside. I wanted to be a Titus 2 older woman to them, as my Titus 2 moms in Tennessee and Naomi in Arizona had been to me. My heart longed to grow in Biblical womanhood and to share it with younger women.
Looking back at this time now, I see that although we studied the Proverbs 31 woman and Titus 2, there was something missing.
At the time there were more things I was against (mostly the feminist attacks on these scriptures) than there were things I was actually for. This was the beginning of envisioning the Proverbs 31 homestead. It was easy to encourage the remarkable women God sent me, but I hadn’t yet seen what I would finally see many years later; there is utter joy, relief and freedom in using Proverbs 31 as a job description!
My two Titus 2 younger women in Texas
By 2012, both my parents and a dear uncle had passed. We realized on a trip to Arizona that there was nothing preventing us anymore from moving out to our family there.
Bur God was still working in some amazing ways in Texas, the significance of which I did not see at the time. We had been traveling back to Texas because Jack was still employed there. On one of our trips back there. our former pastor introduced me to a young woman who had recently been converted. She later introduced me to her friend, another exceptional Titus 2 younger woman. How thankful I am to the Lord, who brought me these two amazing ladies. In spite of the distance, we kept in close contact. Our Titus 2 relationships persevere to this day.
These young women were zealous Christians, both newly married. I was encouraged and thrilled by their desire to be Biblical women women of God.
Then came Covid
Fast forward to 2020. You all remember this, even you young ladies!
Suddenly so many people were home, while businesses, restaurants and schools and even churches closed. There were shortages at the grocery stores and supply chain issues. Some things we had always been able to get were now unavailable.
The Embrace of the home is Proverbs 31 homesteading
I didn’t realize what was happening until my two younger sisters began embracing their homes in a new, more profound way than I ever had. One was making sourdough bread, raising chickens, the other raising rabbits and growing colder weather bananas! They were sewing and teaching others to sew. And making sprouts and kombucha and food from scratch along with raising their new babies. They had a longing for hospitality that I wanted and prayed for.
In some mysterious way, in our day a small but growing minority of young Christian mothers is living in the revelation of Proverbs 31 homesteading. This is in the midst of a culture that seems to be moving as far away from it as possible.
For some it began as a lesson learned from Covid that we needed to learn some skills and not be so dependent upon the grocery store. Women became interested in making their own soaps, essential oils, learning to milk cows and sheep, some even learning to spin! (so much for the Proverbs 31 distaff being outdated! The spinning tutorial is around 4 minute mark in the video)
However this idea manifested, whether in a small apartment or a 200 acre farm, the shift in mindset was the same: seeing the home as a source of production, not just a warehouse of others’ productivity. And this is exactly the spirit of Proverbs 31.
Suddenly I saw it!
It burst on my consciousness pretty fast. This was what had been missing from my view of home, and it for me and so many others it soon took on a component of the joy and challenge of creating something unique with our own hands.
A new wave of homesteading was rolling through the country, and especially among believers in Jesus Christ.
This was partly a result of Covid, or at least that is what the Lord used to turn the attention of many women to their homes. I must note that in saying this, I am not ignoring all the suffering of Covid. However, there were also some blessings that are more apparent now.
Many women, again mostly Christians, were asking “What could our homes be? Could we do amazing work there for the Lord? Could we even be entrepreneurs there?
This was Proverbs 31 in action. The motivation was productivity in the home. The home was now seen as a means of blessing those who lived there and those who needed the embrace of the home. Before that happened, women had to first embrace the home themselves.
The spiritual side of it
It has been the most exciting time in my life as a Christian woman longing to be a woman of God. I found myself asking the same questions my younger sisters were asking.
“What could this home be for the Lord?” “How can I obey Titus 2’s command to women to learn to love my husband and children with the homemaking skills I’m learning?” “What is the potential for blessing my family, my church, the lonely, God Himself, just by doing this?
We began to see the power of love in action just by giving away a loaf of fresh sourdough. The power of God’s love is mighty in simple, ordinary, heartfelt gifts.
I began wondering. Could I, even at my age, begin learning about the amazing things all around that I’d never seen? Things God has created for our benefit?
Why not?
God sprouts the seeds. God raises the bread. God brews the Kombucha.
I have never seen Proverbs 31 Homesteading coming. And there is a resurgence. Small but mighty, it is coming to life and for this I praise the Lord. From the ashes of feminism and the war of the sexes, he gives the exquisite beauty of Biblical womanhood.
But wait, there’s more!
Want to learn more? Check out Resources !!!
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